March 19, 2009

I don't feel like blogging anymore. Feels like shutting this blog and go missing forever. hah. Okay, i'm not feeling orite for the moment.

Felt like crying but i just can't. Maybe this is the biggest test from him?? There are times i felt lost. And need someone to hear my sorrowness, but i just don't know who. In times like this, i wish you're here with me. Coz i know you're the only one who's willing to hear what i have to say.

I don't know what else to do. Can't bear to see her crying in pain every nite. It really shattered my heart to pieces. I wish i do have magic to cure her sickness and let all the pain be gone. For now, i'm her only listening ear. Listening to all her sorrowness really makes me confused coz i just don't know what else to do.
I'm really worried now. What if she's gonna be hospitalised? What if her condition gonna be worst??

By the way, i'm really touched for the care and concern from aunties and cousins. I'm really grateful to my auntie for the concern till the extend of finding medicine to lessen her pain. Now all i can do is to take care of her. Trying hard to change her eating habits.

In times like this, i can see who are those who really cared. Who are really true to be beside me. Nothing much to say. I felt better after letting all out to the cousin. We hold back our tears and sadness. To be true, i'm not strong to go through all these. But ako redha. I'm always reminded that this is a sickness that can never be cured. Sampai mati. Like what she said. It breaks my heart to hear that. What to do, it runs in the genes. I'm just praying may she be given more health. Amin.

To all my friends or anyone reading this,
Treasure, cherish and take care of your parents while they are still healthy. Make them happy and never once hurt their feelings. Coz those are the moments that you'll never know when will we have it again. Before everything is too late. They may be impatient, they may be unreasonable or they may be bias towards us. Afterall they are still our parents. I know. I am not a perfect daughter. I know ive sinned much. That's the best i can give for now.




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