December 19, 2008

What is exactly wrong with me? Something is not right. But i don't know what it is. Ive been thinking alot. But i don't know what ive been thinking. hahaha! And so, i think im down with depression again. I'm having my sleepless night. My insomnia is back. Arrgghhhh i hate it! Everyday, I can only sleep nearly to 3am.haiya. I hate this feeling man. Just like how i suffered a year ago. Can someone sing lullaby for me so i can sleep soundly? haha.

Time is moving really fast. And soon, its gonna be a new year. A new begining awaits. Hoping to be a better person in time to come. Insyaallah. And i'm still in denial that i'm turning 21 in less than 2 months time?? 21+4=?? AHHHHHHHH!! TIDAKKK AKO TIDAK PERCAYA!!! I'm kindda worried when i think about my future. And when i start thinking, i'll have headache for sure. I wish i'm still a baby. haha! There's not a need to worry about anything. Nope. I'm not fit to be a baby coz i know i can only fit to be a baby's mom hahahaha!!

I'm kindda lost and confused now. Is that a normal thing for a grown up like me? Well, i know that everything's been written. Time will tell. Good things will come to those who waits. Yeah its true. I'll wait. Patience is the key to success. I'll wait for my prince charming/anak raja/bakal pacar ku/matair ako kat europe to come and save me.HAHAHAHAHAHA! I know, not today or tomorrow but one fine day.

Because of my past, i learn to appreciate my presence. Ive gone through alot of heartbreaking moments. I don't wanna be hurt anymore. And that reminds me of you.

To you, its gonna be a year since that incident. I just felt like it happened yesterday. Come next year, it's gonna be our 7th years of friendship. But i know that it won't happened. I wish you treasure our friendship like how much i treasure it. And now you're gone. For the better or worst, i don't know. You really left me. You did. Eventhough you told me you won't leave me. What you told me are just lies. Till now, i still can't believe it. My greatest fear was loosing you. And it did really happened. I hate it when my mom ask about you. I just don't have the courage to tell the truth. Coz for the fact that you're never once mine.

Ok im getting all emotional. It's time to really move on and never look back. But it's never easy. To get over someone, you need to have a replacement. It's true. I wish i had. Ok, time will tell baybeh. I need the strength to stay strong.

I'm off to get ready! Finally im going out to get some fresh air. haha
Byez!




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